Sunday, 6 April 2008

April 6, 2008

Light the passion, share the

Policecars, paddy wagons, uniformed officers with truncheons and boots, knots of demonstrators with banners saying Free Tibet (though equally, they could have said Beijing Rules for all the Notting Hill crowds were aware) are lining Ladbroke Grove.
At the Tube station, the convoy containing the flame and the BBC presenter, former Blue Peter girl, cutie Konnie Huq, seems to have stalled.
Suddenly a posse of booted policeman run northwards towards the waving banners, radios crackling, and receiving urgent messages fromtheir walkie-talkies.
A protester has tried to steal the Olympic Flame from Konnie! But much more shocking - Konnie has been touched by a civilian!
Bankers titter. Haggard, edgy looking mothers corral bored toddlers in candy-coloured duffle coats and pink suede Uggs. Notting Hill Tory MPs scope the scene from their family cars, their children jumbled up in the back with the children of other Notting Hill, Tory MPs, all called names like Nancy and Nora.
Ladbroke Grove feels like a windtunnel. What’s the hold up? Nobody would declare themselves prior to this moment to have any interest at all in seeing the flame, but now its non-appearance (we were told 11.10am,it is now 11.20am) is causing comment and comparisons with the Terminal 5 fiasco.
And then a slender teenager in a white tracksuit with the Beijing 2008 logo exits a bus. He is holding a torch, but no flame appears from it.
“Did you know that the whole idea of transporting the flame was dreamt up by Hitler?” the protester, the one who has earlier told us he hopes his banner says “Free Tibet” but worries it says “Down with the Dalai Lama,” idly remarks.
Later, I ask Mr Wikipedia who produces this charming quote:
“Sporting chivalrous contest helps knit the bonds of peace between nations. Therefore may the Olympic flame never expire.” (A Hitler).
But we are in Ladbroke Grove and its chaos and worst of all, we can see the torch, but it’s not lit. “Matches?” someone shouts, and tosses a pack of Bryant and May towards the athlete who is holding the cornetto.
The tally to date then on this day of Olympic ideals: several hundred policemen and spectators, scores of motorbikes, policevans and Tibet protesters, about a dozen athletes and their entourages, one scared telly presenter.
“Free Konnie Huq!” someone in the crowd, child on shoulders, with millions in the bank, a 5 million pound house in Elgin crescent, and a vanity job in celebrity documentaries yells. And then we all go home to our nice warm houses for coffee and croissants to read the Sunday newspapers.


The Creator said...

Here you are. Your second comment.

And this explains how I found you:

Andrew Ian Dodge said...

You want need content that gets yer readers motivated. Good luck with your blog.

And this explains how I found you:

Gallimaufry said...

Third Comment.

Vote Boris.

And this explains how I found you:

stumpy said...

I too was sent by the anyone else a bit disappointed that his link didn't lead to a Rick Astley video?

Anonymous said...

If you don't like blogging, leave it to those that do.

And this explains how I found you:

Ian_QT said...

Tip: You don't need to type in the date in the Title field, because the date comes up automatically.

tim said...

It's all about linking, show you are interested in other people and they will visit you...

And this explains how I found you:

Little Black Sambo said...

Me me me me me me me me me me me.
(I came via

korblimee said...

I also came via the Englishman and as has previously been stated, you should have content that motivates people to want to comment.

Anonymous said...

Here you go - but I use blogs, much more user friendly.

I came via

My blog is

Come visit.

The Creator said...

See? Everyone loves you. Me especially.

10 comments. Just like that.

Hence the odd ways of the blogosphere.

Whether it's worth it or not . . . .

Hmm . . . moot point.

On the whole, I'd keep going.

You never know.

In the meantime, scratching your head or not, RUSH to . . .

. . . which at least has quite a nice colour scheme.

Hugs and kisses

The Creator

PS Here's another nice bloggist

There are others as well, you know.

R. Sherman said...

A hit and comment from St. Louis, MO, USA via: this.


Quiet_Man said...

You may wish to link to a site of blogs that share your interests.

I use the Witanagemot club

And because of that I arrived via

Anonymous said...

If you want to get more blog hits... try having dinner with Iain Dale, instead of Piers Morgan!

Jennie said...

Here's another comment for you: avoid Iain Dale like the plague. Jumped up egotistical tosser that he is.

Possibly more usefully: the blogosphere is all about interaction: if you read and comment on other people's blogs, then they will read and comment on yours.

Write something interesting and I might comment again.


(here, as everyone else is, via

Anonymous said...

You need to interact more with the blogging world. Send the link to your friends and family, or mention inyour column that you hve one and share the link. Oh wait..

Link to other blogs you like etc. It's really not that hard.

(Here via someone who posted the link.)

Carolyn said...

As you'll have noticed by now, you get comments when someone with a bigger audience than you links to you. If they like your stuff, they'll come back, and might link to it themselves, and so you build up an audience.

Or if that sounds like too much work, complaining in a national newspaper might do it ;)

(Here via Jennie, above, who linked to The Englishman. See the power of the blogosphere.)

Devil's Kitchen said...

And just to welcome you, here's your first flame comment...

It's a little more difficult to get an audience in the blogosphere, Rachel. And no, people won't pay you, usually, but it's still a giggle.

After all, I get to write things like "Rachel Johnson writes yet another column about her fucking children and manages to create a smorgasbord of utter tripe."

Never mind, onwards and upwards, eh?


H/T: The Englishman.

Randy (Internet Ronin) said...

Like most other endeavors, successful blogging requires some networking. If no one knows you are blogging, your audience is zero. As others have said, linking and discussing posts on other blogs helps generate traffic, some of which may decide to drop in again. Or not. That depends on your copy, but I imagine you know a lot about the need to write good copy, being a professional writer.

It helps to contribute to the comments sections of other blogs as readers will often click on your profile and follow the lead to your blog. You might already know all this, but I did get the impression you don't because because you sounded upset no one had responded to your posts.

Like many of the others, I found you via
An Englishman's Castle and Tim Worstall.

Anonymous said...

...or you can be like me and disable comments! I'd rather not know how few people read my plagiarised jokes.

Old Holborn - bitter and twisted said...

What utter tripe your blog is.

No humour, no insight, no swearing. Rancid old trollops might read your column whilst having their blue rinses nailed to their addled skulls at the hairdressers but to survive in the real world, you need to "contribute" something.

You don't. Do a Mark Speight and do us a favour

Born Today said...

No comment.

Newmania said...

I would quite like to free Konnie Huq from her clothes but I think she is well on the way to be Britains most despised crawler, I claim my £5 for hating her first , I started ages ago , honest.

Saw you being abused by that scamp DK. This was a very nice essay, and if it was in an excercise book I would think it well worth covering with wallpaper.

V said...

I doubt you will carry on blogging because here you get feedback!!

It's only the fact that The Englishman and Tim pointed you to me, I wouldn't be here. I visited your website (Which stinks big time BTW!)to find out who you were.

Now I realise I have wasted a good 10 minutes of my life!

Give it 30-50 days and you will be back to 0 comments!

Fidothedog said...

I found via the ever funny DK!

Needs some more sweary comments, gossip on other dire journalists, hell even slag off your employer.

Anonymous said...

Jennie wrote:

"Here's another comment for you: avoid Iain Dale like the plague. Jumped up egotistical tosser that he is. "

What a hateful thing to say about that well respected media luvvie ... er... any more comments?

Anonymous said...

Dear Rachel

I like your writings in general, because you are clearly a normal human being. Boris is nice, so you must be also.

Also, I hope and pray that your brother wins London; he is a good man, and we need him urgently. I urged him to keep buggering on, at a wedding in 1999 (not literally, you understand.)

if you are going to blog, it will be good and I encourage you to do so, but it will take time, even for an established journalist. you'll have to put in some work. I found you via Devil's Kitchen, my very good friend in the blogosphere, whom I know well.

You have to write about stuff people want to hear about, sharply, usually within about 1 to 4 hours. That is to say, not Konnie Huq.

Also there are no links on your blog. I will put you on ours, if you put us on yours, here it is:

You might also add guido, on, and

kindest rgds and encouragements,
David Davis
Director of Northern Affairs
Libertarian Alliance

DaveGraff said...

Hi Rachel, I am no pro blogger whatsoever. What I have found useful is to decide who you are writing to. That gives you a purpose. For example, I write to a group that includes a few ordinaries and a few extraordinaries. Ordinaries include my family on the other side of the world and friends. A little bit different I think, I also write to a 20-year-older me, and my wife-and-kids-to-be (I'm unmarried, single with no kids yet.)

I imagine them wanting to know what my life was like... and me wanting to remember details that would be impossible to relay without writing them down. I find that leaves me not really caring what the fickle internet says, because I'll always have those that I wrote to in the first place.

Have fun.


btw. I found you through An Englishman's Castle

amjamjazz said...

Look, I know it may not be the coolest proposition in this age of open London government and the reclamation of the philanderer, but don't we deserve some snappyish titles for these posts, at least?

This minimalist approach doesn't sit well with the cantering, conversational style, which is never in too much of a hurry to get from point-to-point.

ben hanbury said...

don't give up Rachel, keep going, we believe in you!!

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